I had group sharing today, and we were supposed to talk about our family, our questions being:
1) What did your parents do that makes you love them more,
2) What do you want your parents to do for you to love them more?

One of my friends (actually my NY girls) said this on fb. (I didn't post her entire post, just the questions)

I almost cried just reading question 1. I think maybe because I've been having bouts of homesickness the past week so these questions are especially....emotional for me.

I don't even know how to start giving the answer to question 1. Even though what Romain said in Korean class was cliche (best present he had ever received), the most important thing that our parents did were to give us life. Without life, we would be nothing.

And it's not just life that's important. It's bringing us up, raising us, giving us the best that they can. My mum gave up her job to take care of us personally. My dad worked so hard to give us a comfortable life. We're not exactly wealthy, but we are all living comfortably. They brought us on vacations even if we may not be that well-off to afford it. And then my mum went to work again when we got older because our spending was increasing. Even with work, even when she reaches home late, she cooks dinner for us, washes clothes for us.

They taught me what was important in life. I may have gotten scoldings, sometimes even beatings (when I was much younger), but what I learnt was important. I learnt not to make careless mistakes. Trivial as it may seem, it made me into a conscientious person. I learnt not to take things for granted, to treasure everything that we have. I learnt many life lessons, the years when my dad would fetch me home after NP act or DALT training, talking about things that happened and what was the right choice to make. Even just my dad always fetching us when we call him, or worrying about us when we reach home late, driving to fetch us at the MRT.

They supported me as much as they can, even if it's difficult. The years in NY, going on overseas CIP to Bangalore in 2007 and Taiwan in 2008, it wasn't cheap. But it was what I wanted, the experience, and for that experience, they supported me.

Even for this, coming here. I had thought that I didn't receive the scholarship initially, and I was really really disappointed because that meant that I couldn't come to Yonsei and to UIC, to do what I wanted. However, my mum told me that they would support me as much as they can, even if it meant taking out loans from the bank to pay for the tuition. Thinking back on this still brings tears.

And always worrying about me, coming to Korea with me last semester to see me settle in, skyping with me everyday, cheering me up and giving advice not just about my stuff, but even for my friends' as well..

And even just the simple hug when I cry at the airport, that's enough.

I think I could go on and on. And talking about all these just make me cry ><


Question 2 made me cry. Because nothing, nothing more can make me love them more. Nothing less would make me love them less.

Instead, I ask myself, what can I do to repay these?

Not even talking about the distant future where I'll find a job and "become successful" (however you define it) and take care of them for the rest of their lives.

I need to change my temper. Sometimes I don't mean to sound impatient or anything. I think back to what Teukie said during Sukira some time last year, about how he went back home for Chuseok and he was being sharp with his words but all along thinking "no, that's not what I meant, I didn't mean for it to come out this way" and he could sense that his mum was on the verge of tears. I'm like that as well. I don't mean to sound irritated, but it just comes out that way. And the guilt will eat into me everytime I think about this. I think back to when I was 5, when sticker books were the "in" thing. I demanded for my mum to buy one (since everyone had one), and my mum bought one with my favourite cartoon on the cover. I happily brought it to school to show off, only to have my friends ask me why my sticker book wasn't ring binded. I got upset about that and went home asking my mum (not in a very nice tone) why she got me a sticker book that wasn't ring binded, that was different from others. Now, 15 years later, I'm still regretting saying that, and yes, I still remember that. Everytime I say something bad or sound impatient I feel guilty after that. And I remember it for life.

But I am glad that I came overseas, because it made me realise how much I really love my parents and my family. And I believe that over the winter break I've become a better daughter, and I've snapped at my family less than in the past.

Now that I'm constantly thinking of home, I know that next winter break when I go home, I will be a much better daughter, a much better granddaughter, and a much better sister.

Thank you Shernice for your fb post. It made me think a lot, and appreciate my parents (:

Hi guys,

In the video lecture, I made a mistake when calculating the slope of the PPF.

The right calculation for the slope of the PPF with computers and wheat is as follows.

slope = -5000/ 500= "-10".

I told you I like mathematics ^^

Thank some of you for letting me know it.

Have a nice weekend!

Yun


OMG 교수님 why so cute ;______;

And she was trying to get the slides back on during the video lecture and she was like "You cannot fall asleep!!"

So cute hahaha xD

I might like Econ xD

Tbh I was really surprised and a little disappointed when I first read about the JYJ - sasaeng thing. I didn't take any sides (because I didn't wanna think about it). I agreed that they shouldn't have hit anyone but it was also true that the sasaengs were too much.

But after reading this, all I can say is... wow.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QXbyYQjPbfXtdcRF4Uh9k-2wx_VUHzfbjV80ZnwsRHg/edit?pli=1

It's really long, but if you don't wanna read it, it basically shows what the sasaengs had done to TVXQ in the past. Breaking into their house and kissing them when they're asleep, stealing their things, hacking into their phones and calling up all the contacts to find out which ones are girls, getting into accidents intentionally so that they'll be remembered, groping them everywhere whenever they see them... Horrible.

And worse still, the recording that was posted initially wasn't even the full one.. Dispatch just took out parts that would make Jaejoong look bad and create a controversy. If you read the transcript of the whole thing it shows how much Jaejoong sounded like he was breaking down and everything.

I think the one that struck me the most was when one of them were saying that TVXQ used to be nice to their sasaengs in the beginning.. Shaking hands with them, worrying about them and telling them to go home... But now after 9 years of being stalked they can't take it anymore.. I guess you can look at it two ways.. One could say that they became cocky after gaining fame but think about it, 9 years without any inch of privacy??

And the way they wrote it in the end, what it would be like if the same thing happened to you... It really gave me the creeps. I cannot imagine living like this. It's disturbing and horrible.

I'm not saying that Jaejoong and Yoochun should be excused for their behaviour. It's just that now I can understand why they did it.

And I hate how the media always leaves some things out intentionally. The same for Jaejoong's recording, and also about Teukie. The news reported something about Teukie saying that Americans are trash? and turns out the reporter removed the behind part of the quote which in the end gives the whole meaning of the sentence as smth like I don't care if people say Americans are trash (something to that effect), I only care about the love from my fans. Not sure if I understood the trash part all correctly in the full sentence BUT STILL WTF stop doing this kinda biased reporting and create controversies out of nowhere gdi

I'm no longer a young and enthusiastic freshman.

Nowadays when I read the textbooks I feel like I'm not absorbing ==" Is it because it's critical reasoning and Econ? No idea tbh haha. Just hoping that I can do well in these 2 subjects I've never done before >< Econ terms to remember and critical reasoning kills brain cells. Postwar requires memorizing (and once again I regret not taking History ==") and my favourite class is still Korean lol.

And I just gave myself more trouble by doing this part-time teaching English job. Oh god I just hope that it won't take up much of my time cos I already feel like I need more time to prepare for classes ><

Looking at Shinhwa's comeback makes me so so so envious. And worried. I cannot imagine if I were a Shinhwa Changjo; or if this was happening to SJ years later. I think I'll die from happiness. On another note I'm proud that they're going to do SS4 in France!! I can't help but think that Teukie's mentality is to leave behind a legacy so that even if they can't *touch wood* come back together again, at least they've been on top before ><

Okay short post, I'm going to sleep, have been sleeping past 1am and waking up at 7plus for the past few days >< Maybe that's why I can't concentrate when doing my readings D:

Even though I'm supposed to be on holiday and I'm already off work, I feel oddly busy. Like I have so many things on my plate and I have to complete them before leaving for Korea next Sunday. And wow, next Sunday. It's so soon.

I don't know why I got myself into so many commitments >< Of course SJ is one but I'm already being a good girl by fulfilling my responsibilities first and not going anywhere near them. Haven't been to the airport or anywhere even though I totally could since I'm not working now. Because this weekend is reserved for them already (:

And of course to prevent another blow up from my mum I've been trying to stay home and have dinner at home as much as possible. Trying to arrange lunch dates with my dad and mum too if possible next week. Monday I have to go to that scholarship talk with my cousin and hopefully go donate blood after that. And then there's definitely a day reserved for a special group of 13 people (SJ! SJ! SJ! lol xD) And lunch with the siblings which isn't arranged yet cos gor wants Korean BBQ and YS timetable changed to end at 1.30pm (wts ==") so we can't go >< And I really really wanna spend a day or two to have lunch with my grandma at home, I feel so bad that I have been working the whole time and didn't get to spend much time with her and now that I ended work I have been going out the past 2 days and will still be going out this weekend )): and then if possible I have to squeeze out a day to help zhiying with Jap and possibly go to NATAS fair with my aunt to check out tours to Jeju and things like that. And worst part is my luggage is only half packed and I haven't progressed with Econ at all. And there's always the occasional translation request from Rena about her orders (that's important stuff cos it involves $ and everything) or some of the other ELF who needs Korean translation. My entire week is totally unplanned (even Monday is only half planned) and I have so many things to do. Thank god the subbing team didn't come to me to ask for help again or I'd feel bad turning them down and I'll end up with even more things to do =="

So stressed about how to finish up all these things that I don't even have time to think about leaving Singapore for the next 10 months..

OMG FUCK SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KNOCK MY HOUSE DOWN T_____________T

Seriously the renovation going on upstairs is crazy. Some more my mum said is 12th floor. I'm on the 9th!!!! WTS. The drilling feels like it's right above my ceiling and when they knock or hammer the whole freaking estate can hear it!!!!! Even with my window closed!!!!!

FUCK THIS SHIT. I only have 2 more weeks to stay at home and you do this to me?

You know I don't swear easily. Especially not the f word. This is seriously just too much. I've had neighbours renovating before and non were as loud/exaggerated/long-drawn as this. It's been going on since last Sunday!! At night!!! My dad almost went up to complain cos they're not supposed to do that on weekends, much less at night like 10pm.. And I woke up at 6.30am for course enrollment and I can't get my sleep because of this shit.

On a side note I finally got all my classes :DD 축하해!!

Say hi to a slightly screwed timetable because of my insistence on keeping Friday as free as possible and still thinking of taking 21 credits!



Still thinking if I should take Postwar leaders cos it's not required course actually >< and if I drop it I'll have a nice timetable. This timetable makes me have to survive on coffee AND rush off to futsal from class >< Not a good idea actually.

HOWWWWW BUT THE CLASS LOOKS INTERESTING T______T And I'm also afraid that I might not be able to manage. After all last sem I had a few slack classes like Christianity. And even though we had readings for Writing Tut and stuff I knew that it was a free A+ cos Prof is nice and I did well in class. Now GLF is the free class but I already have CR, West Civ and Econ to handle... Postwar probably requires readings and stuff too.. Sigh so indecisive ><

Okay I don't care now, I'm just going to get out of the house!!!! They sound like they're going to knock my house down T______T

Every time I watch dramas... I'll be really involved, screaming at scary parts, cursing the evil ppl, shouting at the characters not to do this and that. But when I finish watching, I'll feel this sense of loss. I'll be really absorbed in the drama, and when the series end I feel that hmm okay, it's just going to be stored in my brain as part of a drama that I watched before, that's it. Kinda sad actually.

Tmr is going to be another long day at work. Work is making me sian ):

But these few days at YJC orientation, I must say that I'm impressed with their councillors and OGLs. The head councillor kept coming over to check if we needed more manpower. And usually I would tell them to measure their waist circumference so that I can get their size, and when the OGL saw that he took the measuring tape and got all those ppl queuing behind to measure first.. So when it's their turn to buy the uniform they just tell us their measurements (: And today we reached early so there was only 2 of us, the OGLs took the initiative to come in and help us in selling.. Really impressed with their pro-activeness.. (:

Now that I've finished Sign, it means that I have to start studying Econ when I have free time T_____T I feel like I'm 自作孽ing. Ppl enjoying holidays as much as they can and I'm forcing myself to study ahead ==" But what to do, need scholarship and I'm getting perfectionist with my grades >< A nice feeling actually, haven't felt like this for awhile.. NY and HC was just, I can pass Math/Chem very good liao lah.. I feel like a responsible student now lol..

And I don't know how much good karma I've accumulated to know all these people.. When I was sick they packed my luggage for me, and now that the dorm doesn't allow check in at night and my flight is arriving at 9pm, they all started offering me their rooms... So touched :')

Busy with work!! Tmr is orientation at YJC and I predict a day of chaos. Okay make that 2 days. And then since I'm out of office I can't complete my AISS FAS stuffs =="

I'm going to take a photo when my sis wears her uniform and post a comparison with our HC uniform. Then you tell me the difference ==" The cloth color is almost the same, like if I wash my HC uniform for 2 years it'll be the same color =="

I'm watching Sign (still). At ep 17 now.. Better finish quickly so that I can start mugging for Econ. I'm only at the first principle of Economics (out of 10) and I don't rmb it anymore lol. And also must decide when to stop working so that I can pack my stuffs. Maybe 1 or 2 weeks before I leave..

Sign is really good but everytime I watch it I feel like killing someone. Okay make that a lot of ppl. Evil director Lee Myung Han, disgusting bitchface Kang Seo Yeon, shameless father presidential candidate and the scheming attorney. All deserve to die. And my new hate is the stupid medical examiner shortie guy who stole the damn cushion sample. WTS KANG SEO YEON KILLED THE GUY AND SHE'S STILL WALKING AROUND PROUDLY WITH HER BITCHFACE SHE SHOULD BE PUNISHED!!!!!!! What's wrong with that idiot man, believe the stupid director so easily. Ppl Go Da Kyung give up her sister's life okay. And speaking of which, how come she so many siblings huh. That time one younger brother die in traffic accident then now suddenly say got younger sister ==" Like when the show needs her to have a sibling then poof a sibling appears! Seriously =="

This post has no substance at all lol.

Anyways I feel like I've been neglecting my lj and korean blogging which is why I came today since I got off work early hehe. Korean blog is fun when you see potential future schoolmates or the kinds of people who are interested in Korean schools :D

Okay back to watching Sign!!!

AND YAYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEE YUANHAN GOT INTO EDAE EXCHANGE YAYYYYYYYEEEEEEE IT'S RIGHT NEXT TO YONSEI :DDDDDDD And I have a friend from Edae who can help Yuanhan ;D

여러분 수고하셨어요.


( Too long if you're non Kpop fan xD )


So here ends a happy day, and touching day, a day of relief. Shall go to sleep ^^